Bring on the plastic nametags, fire up the hotel coffee makers, and assign your employees awkward sleeping arrangements. It's that time when you can act out, take copious notes, pretend to be a leader in your industry, and pray that you don't bump into people you used to date!  Yes, it's your turn to go to the annual industry conference! For some bizarre reasons, Americans love to go to conferences, trade shows, industry gatherings of one sort or another. We love it so much that the conference industry actually ranks 22nd in contributions to America's economy - right above agriculture and trucking. Getting people to conventions comprises almost a quarter of the airlines' business.  That's a lot of `New Visions for Dentistry.' A lot of `Mortuary Science for the Future.' A lot of `Medieval Archiving in the 21st Century.'  I was curious as to why Americans, who would rather die than actually work a full weekend, love going to conferences so much. An informal newsroom poll suggested that Americans go to "hook up," "network," or "make you feel better about the job you have."  Newsrooms are not always reliable sources. So I called Dr. Love (full name Curtis Love.) He's an assistant professor of convention management at the University of Nevada in the molten core of the conference world: Las Vegas. Dr. Love told me that Americans go to conferences for networking, education, and to conduct business.  "There are more people that attend conferences and trade shows than there are in the country's university system," said Dr. Love, who co-wrote an 800-page textbook on meeting management. "They go to enhance their professional education."  I asked him if they don't just go to party.  "Ten years ago there was a lot more entertainment," said Dr Love. "It was a lot of fun and playing and stuff," said Dr. Love. "Now people don't have the time. When people spend money to go to a convention, they want high quality education and programming. They want a ROI... a return on their investment."  Maybe some people see conferences as investments. Those are probably the same people who want to know the ROI of playing Scrabble with their grandfather. But I have another theory about why Americans (myself included) can't get enough of conferences. Conferences are so popular because Americans have an advanced case of cognitive dissonance. I know that this sounds like a knee injury, but it refers to a conflict between one belief and another. Our worst cognitive dissonance is about our jobs. They are supposed to be some all-consuming passion, some higher calling from the big Paradigm in the sky, some magic synergistic elixir that one imbibes and then feels worthy.  But they aren't. They're usually either boring or torturous. Our jobs are never going to give our lives that much meaning. And the longer we spend asphyxiating in that cubicle, or behind that Burger King counter, or gently telling nasty little third-graders to stop taunting each other, we will eventually realize this.  To get around this, conferences serve as a sort of pep rally for our jobs. When we leave, we have a renewed faith in our own meaning, we are "strivers," we are all Little Princes and Princesses on our own planets in the vast cosmos of capitalism.  According to the Professional Convention Management Association, the passion for conferences is not nearly as great in other countries of comparable wealth. Maybe something else is giving them a better return on their investment.